I'm in trouble

I like my food too much.

It started out with trying to save money, hence the preparations of every single meal. hello? i'm too broke even to afford the ready to run supermarket meals.

But it's spiralled into an actual love of experimentation with food (which is not good news for my studies, nor for my tummy, which looks six months pregnant!)

I spend my days decadently. Everytime i'm bored in a class, i'll think of experimenting with a different ingredient for the day...F'instance, i played with avocados, chickpeas, pasley etc all in a day. yesterday was fun, i played with tofu, and various tomato puree.

My meals are extremely varied.

I cant' say the same for my readings because um, when you spend your days dreaming up receipes, doing laundry and boring things like that, (and oh, um, sneaking in social activities), it's a bit had to carve out time to actually read, no?

And so, i'm left hugging my butternut squash (a new find i'm going to play for tomorrow!) at the moment, trying to push myself to get some readings done. this, despite leaving school 6 hours ago to the minute, vowing i'll rush home to get work done! (I got distracted by chickpeas...)

I forgot the milk!

Oh ho! now i know what's wrong with my quiche!

As usual, I like to pretend to myself that my memory is infallible.

Being really bored with the rice with stirfry veggies, rice with ginger stirfried chicken, that have been having, i decided i was going to make quiche.

Having successfully made it before at least 3-4 years ago , I thought i'll do it. The first time i tried on Wednesday, i didn't buy enough eggs to cover the silly spinach and mushrooms--which i admit i put way too much mushrooms---and so i ended up with goodness knows what, (tastes wonderful, but hardly passes as quiche) this erm, mushroom and spinach monster that falls apart.

I bagged that and decided to make some rice to serve that as a kind of veggie dish.

Friday, stoning in class, i decided to have another go... it must be the eggs, i grumbled to myself. Cycling furiously to the supermarket---i had an hour to chop, and er bake before i rush off to choir practice---i bought 10 eggs just for this purpose, more spinach, and decided to omit the mushrooms this time.

Genius that i was, trying to finish chopping and stuff it into the oven (my oven has no self-timer alas!) and get it to cook all before 6.45, i chop so hard i squash hard on my thumb whilst looking anxiously at the clock,. said thumb has been bleeding for the past few hours. no matter. 7.15 came and i had barely left my over-generously doused with eggs thing in the oven for 15-20 mins.

No matter, i decided to switch off the oven in the faith that the heat still circulating around the oven will certainly cook the quiche--i had this vague feeling i was doing something wrong.. 10 eggs? 10 eggs? into a small quiche? that sounds cholesterol inducing to me---and left sucking my still bleeding thumb for choir.

Returning home after choir and dripping blood still, i looked at my quiche, tasted it (it wasn't too bad) but it seems... somewhat flatter than most quiche i see and somewhat less creamy.

Giving in, i researched online discovered....i forgot either the milk or cream what have you.

and most receipes don't go for 10 eggs.

bah!

My landlord is so sweet!

My landlord is absolutely a gem!

The old TV which he lent me died within 3 days, and I have been wondering how on earth to tell him... whether he might barf and kick me out or something.

Instead, he simply said, oh I'll replace with another old TV for you. I told him, repeatedly no hurry as I wasn't the sort who desperately needs a TV for my survival.

And he went out a few hours later and came back with a second hand TV. Mind you, i gaped at him, and he laughed and said i shouldn't expect this sort of treatment all the time.

Golly! It's not the TV itself---i never was a big TV watcher anyway, but the gesture i appreciate.

He also made reference to the earlier incident and said E, his partner, has called me an excellent policeman for the house, since i bothered to check the identities of the fish-tank removers. Laughs. looks like i have a new nickname now.
Also, I went sightseeing today on my way from church. i also had a wonderful book sale where novels were going for 2-3 pounds...

Ok, so i'm turning into a shopaholic, but well, I have decided I'm going to let go a bit and spend. London is expensive and first i had to cope with the shock of moving from C to London, b'coz i ended having to pay at least 5k more pounds for schoolfees and let's not even get down to accommodation and transport.

Trying to economise frantically will drive me insane, slowly, so i'm now rubbing my hands in glee over my new novels---aiyah, sian, cannot read anymore academic texts already, i haven't finished my assignments as i proudly proclaim in my previous entries but aiyah!---and my new tops and scarf. at worse i'll try to find a part-time job in june but i'm going to let go and enjoy myself for the next few months at least.

Pictures of London as i went awalking...

Here are some pictures i took along the way as i went awalking. There are more coming up, as I'm going a roaming and awalking now that my woes seem to be over!

Hope springs eternal; tralalala

Isn't it mindbogglig that we have an amazing capacity for optimism and hope?

I felt a grin breaking through from deep within last night...yes, i more or less finished---i don't give a damn about the quality anymore--- two papers, though i still have to tidy and tighten them up and write two more---not that i care, i'm just going to hand in two first and either ask for an extension or something---i had enough of staying indoors! the past few months have been a dreary slog---i didn't save this hard to deal with this crap.

The perils of coming late to a course lah and wasting time on accommodation.

but life promises to offer so much! Rubs hands in glee---I suddenly realise all I have to do is go to school for some days, but also will have time to engage in photography and all my other interests! Gosh, such a short time n London... how do i maximise my time in views of my limited funds?

Tralalala....2008 looks like a promisingly happy year now that the weight of at least 1/2 of my overdue assignments are done..

Like i said, isn't it amazing how we always have this innate capacity for hope that things turn out better?

School is a waste of time

After weeks of staying in ill and trying to write my papers, it is a firm belief school is a waste of time.

Everything I read now makes me feel that i'm wasting my life away. Who cares about the duality between the subject and object? Fwah!

i conclude: i am burnt out, and so, away, i go, to play, soon!

inspired

I met my housemate's mum today in the kitchen. Her mum came down to stay with her and I ran into them both this morning---very nice and friendly people. they laughed and said, oh you have been to yorkshire? yes, it's lots friendlier, not like London.

I'm tremendously inspired. Her mum's doing a PhD now, after teaching English for the past few years, and it amazes me.. because we see so few of people doing things out of the pure passion of it!. It's clear thata PhD isn't going to help in a career, let's be realistic, age, the plethora of Phds in English is obvious, A Phd can only be driven by the sheer love of the subject.

This glimpse into another person's passion is helping to stroke and reignite my own, for I remember, seeing her joy in talking about her PhD, my own drive and passion. I came because I wanted to say something, I wanted to say something real and productive about the world, not merely earn a piece of paper or merely to summarise a grand theorist...which is partly why I've been feeling awfully down and frustrated, because it seems as if the approach taken in the uk unis dept I have attended so far is that to test my summary of a theorist, but not quite to use it, as I'm accustomed to back home.

So i'll finish up those horrible papers, and hopefully move onto something happier soon.