P: hey! would you like to marry me? Marry me lah, then you can sponsor my academic lifestyle...
L (already endowed with a long-term boyfriend): sorry, you not my type. Food is very important to me too.
gives up, turns to another person...
P: Ay, marry me lah! join teaching, then you can support my ambitions!
A: eh, not my type lah. i'm heterosexual.
P: go for a sex change la. i also heterosexual. but i need someone to fund me!!! go lah!
A: aiyah, no lah. i also want someone to support me...
so depressing. two proposals sent out (admittedly to my girl-friends, so that might not have worked) and twice rejected immediately.
mirror, mirror on the wall...
Saturday 22 March 2008
Sunday 16 March 2008
I am on the market: i need a husband or a wife!
Hello, hello!
Calling for all rich wives/husbands wannabes...
i'm eligible! (flutters eyelids)
Criteria (none negotiable. You can be nice, and wonderful, funny and all that, but you have to be all of that IN ADDITION to the following. Please don't apply if you fail any requirements)
1. Rich AND willing to use the money to sponsor my research and studies. If you are rich but not willing to sponsor my work, sorry, apply elsewhere. Next!
And oh, if you are willing to sponsor my work, but aren't rich, no! I don't want to be guilt-tripped, thank you!
2. willing to be left alone for a long time whilst i do research. I will occasionally pay attention to you, i promise. Maybe five minutes whilst i climb out of the labyrinth of books and papers and notes or when i am not away on long periods of fieldwork?
3. willing to put up with badly cooked food, and sometimes microwavable food. It's just food. Get over it.
4. Hold my hand whilst i agonise over my ideas and research. I will have many moments when i doubt my own work, or the worth of what i am doing---even though i fundamentally believe in it. Please listen to me and reassure me. And oh, if you have a critical eye and a keen intellect, all the better---I want someone who can help me sharpen my ideas.
In exchange:
1. I will make sure our living quarters are livable. clothes will be periodically dumped into the washing machine i promise. Dishes will be washed---i haven't fallen down the scale of academic insanity yet. I can promise some level of cleanliness.
2. You will be hugely fascinated with the intellectual stuff i dig out! I am a fascinating conversationalist! Why do you want a porcelain doll? Pshaw! looks pass...presumably, we will grow old together, and hey, by then, you want an intelligent companion to keep Alzheimer's at bay. Looks won't do the trick, and as much as I love research, I assume I will give it up at some point in time, esp. if you fit the bill! (wink!)
3. I promise i won't have affairs outside: i don't have time lah. Hello, when I don't even have the time to think about speed-dating, or whatever, and i have to resort to putting up ads on my blog---that is really pathetic, i know---do you think I have time to fool around? The only mistress I have will be my research. Honest!
ANY TAKERS?
No?
I suppose not.
Sigh.
Bangs head on the table..., why, why, why can't i aspire to be rich or get married by 30 or something, which all seem to be goals that are more realistic than my present one anyway?!!
As an aspiring male anthropologist i met said to us all.. we all need rich wives, and upon turning to me.. "yes, even YOU!".
Especially me, i think.
Gloomy look.
should i make it my goal to get married instead? seems more attainable than academia.
Blimey.
Calling for all rich wives/husbands wannabes...
i'm eligible! (flutters eyelids)
Criteria (none negotiable. You can be nice, and wonderful, funny and all that, but you have to be all of that IN ADDITION to the following. Please don't apply if you fail any requirements)
1. Rich AND willing to use the money to sponsor my research and studies. If you are rich but not willing to sponsor my work, sorry, apply elsewhere. Next!
And oh, if you are willing to sponsor my work, but aren't rich, no! I don't want to be guilt-tripped, thank you!
2. willing to be left alone for a long time whilst i do research. I will occasionally pay attention to you, i promise. Maybe five minutes whilst i climb out of the labyrinth of books and papers and notes or when i am not away on long periods of fieldwork?
3. willing to put up with badly cooked food, and sometimes microwavable food. It's just food. Get over it.
4. Hold my hand whilst i agonise over my ideas and research. I will have many moments when i doubt my own work, or the worth of what i am doing---even though i fundamentally believe in it. Please listen to me and reassure me. And oh, if you have a critical eye and a keen intellect, all the better---I want someone who can help me sharpen my ideas.
In exchange:
1. I will make sure our living quarters are livable. clothes will be periodically dumped into the washing machine i promise. Dishes will be washed---i haven't fallen down the scale of academic insanity yet. I can promise some level of cleanliness.
2. You will be hugely fascinated with the intellectual stuff i dig out! I am a fascinating conversationalist! Why do you want a porcelain doll? Pshaw! looks pass...presumably, we will grow old together, and hey, by then, you want an intelligent companion to keep Alzheimer's at bay. Looks won't do the trick, and as much as I love research, I assume I will give it up at some point in time, esp. if you fit the bill! (wink!)
3. I promise i won't have affairs outside: i don't have time lah. Hello, when I don't even have the time to think about speed-dating, or whatever, and i have to resort to putting up ads on my blog---that is really pathetic, i know---do you think I have time to fool around? The only mistress I have will be my research. Honest!
ANY TAKERS?
No?
I suppose not.
Sigh.
Bangs head on the table..., why, why, why can't i aspire to be rich or get married by 30 or something, which all seem to be goals that are more realistic than my present one anyway?!!
As an aspiring male anthropologist i met said to us all.. we all need rich wives, and upon turning to me.. "yes, even YOU!".
Especially me, i think.
Gloomy look.
should i make it my goal to get married instead? seems more attainable than academia.
Blimey.
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