calmness

i've lost about half of savings just over a few months, let's say it's such a huge amount because it take me up to a year to save, and which was intended to pay back a loan. but i'm surprisingly calm, because i understand this is simply life...i've lost alot but i haven't lost everything...one hopes, since my transaction will only return my guess in 2 weeks time. 

but the main thing is: i'm still healthy. i'm in one piece, and in anycase, that's life. life IS like that. there are ups and downs, and at present, i have enough food in my mouth clothes for my back! 

Which brings me back to whatever i've been concerned about. my main goal, as i have said to someone very dear to me for years, is that i have friends i grow old with. i want meaningful relationships... people whose funerals i'll go to and who will go to mine, friends who will have kids and whose children i hope to watch grow up, enough to pay the bills, laugh with and all, and engage in a job i enjoy. time and love to give to those dear to me.

but in order to get there, ill have to survive the next close to decade of years. i am making big switches, almost impossible leaps, but these leaps have to be made, because this will affect my career paths for the next decades, and will have spill on effects on my life, my relationships, my capacity to become more independent financially.. and so to work, and i'll stay calm.

i'm grateful for life, and joy, and for Bach:)